


It's All Over but the Crying

by RyanAckart



Series: Logan the Lone Courier - Part 1 [5]
Category: Fallout 3
Genre: but Harkness isn't in this fic so I can't really tag it as that relationship lol, he and Harkness are still 'together'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 06:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17913962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanAckart/pseuds/RyanAckart
Summary: Logan doesn't know why he thought finding Vault 112 would be easy. Nothing in the Capital Wasteland is easy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These two chapters will feel disjointed but that's on purpose
> 
> Follow me at **fairtomato.twitter.com**

A young man lies in a tent under a sky full of stars. His terror of the night still hasn’t lessened but that’s not why he’s crying tears onto his sleeping bag. He’s alone, filthy, feeling so lost and defeated. Weeks have passed since he and Harkness explored Jefferson Memorial and found the holotapes James left behind. Logan let himself believe his dad left them on purpose, like he somehow knew his son wasn’t far behind.

But now he just feels like an idiot. His dad didn’t leave anything for him, he’s not waiting for Logan, he doesn’t care about him. Lying to someone their entire life and leaving them behind isn’t love.

Logan almost died today. He wandered the wasteland like he does every day. And then he saw _it_. A deathclaw.

The monster everybody has warned him about. Ten feet tall, razor sharp teeth, claws that could shred his body like paper. How the fuck is a human supposed to fight a creature of that strength and speed? Did he even survive the encounter? Is he in some sort of weird purgatory, cursed to roam the wasteland for eternity?

If not for Harkness’ plasma rifle and pure fucking luck, he probably would be dead right now. He can’t continue like this, it’s ridiculous. Wherever Vault 112 is, wherever his dad is...it doesn’t matter. He’s never finding him. Maybe neither of them are even in DC. How would he know? Why should he continually risk his life and traumatize himself for someone like his dad? He wanted to come out here alone so he can do Project fucking Purity all by himself too.

He’ll check the memorial one more time, visit Harkness, and then he doesn’t know. Try to make a life for himself. What would that look like? He can go back to Megaton, help Moira with the book. That’s not a bad plan. He’d rather do that than waste his time chasing after a ghost.

But he doesn’t feel any better. He’s still crying. He still wishes his dad was here with him and his dad still isn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll be back, you son of a bitch!”

“Yeah, yeah. Get lost, zombie.”

Logan watches a ghoul stomp away and he’s unsure if he even notices him or just doesn’t care. This tower in the middle of nowhere is an odd sight but he knows from Burke in Megaton that this must be Tenpenny Tower. He pushes that situation out of his mind. It’s his fault Lucas Simms is dead, even if Burke pulled the trigger. That makes it difficult to see how disarming the bomb was worth it. Sure, the town’s safe from it potentially exploding or somebody else manipulating it to blow but if it’d remained okay for the last two hundred years, wouldn’t it have stayed that way? The bomb is neutralized but that kid has no dad now.

No--people die in the wasteland all the time. He’s learned this fact very well. He can’t dwell on this, no matter how guilty he feels.

He returned to Megaton after giving up the search for his dad and Vault 112 to instead help Moira. She was thrilled and had a large list of dangerous tasks for him to complete for research. He finished it all--including the ‘optional’ parts--because he believes in the book’s mission. The last chapter sent him back to Rivet City to discover its origins. He knew instantly that he should talk to Pinkerton.

Pinkerton definitely wasn’t happy to see him.

But he talked to the regular citizens, got information out of Pinkerton, and got to visit Harkness. The memory fills him with warmth and he hopes for a time he and Harkness aren’t constantly separated by distant so they can discover just where this thing between them can lead.

Logan also discovered the super mutants returned to Jefferson Memorial. Again he and Harkness cleared it and still no sign of his dad. Weeks and weeks and weeks...even if Vault 112 is far, shouldn’t he be back by now? So he made the decision to restart his search. Even if his dad truly doesn’t care about him, Logan can’t just leave him out there. If he needs help...well, Logan has a lot more experience now. He’s seen and done a lot in a relatively short amount of time. If his dad needs help or needs to be saved from something, Logan can provide.

He left Rivet City, rushed through the Arlington Public Library despite looking so forward to exploring that big building of books, and returned all the information to Moira. So completes the Wasteland Survival Guide. Almost. Now she needs to finish writing it and hopefully when Logan returns--with his dad--it’ll be complete.

And now his journey leads him outside this building and pressing the intercom.

“Didn’t I just tell you to fuck off-”

“Different person, babe.”

“Ugh, what do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want inside this fancy tower. I’m sure you got merchants and doctors in there.”

He and the guard argue a bit but then he agrees to let him in...for five hundred caps. He has a few thousand saved up but he still wants to steal it back from this asshole later on.

After thirty minutes, Logan hates every single person in this tower. They’re racist, classist, obnoxious. This just might be the most annoying settlement in the wasteland.

He buys a beer from a protectron and sits down to drink and write in his journal. Should he go south next? Continue west? Maybe he should draw a map and toss a dart at it to determine his next move. No one he’s spoken to here or anywhere knows what a car garage is or where Evergreen Mills is.

“Oh, you’re new.”

He glances up at a woman, hoping she’s better than the others around. “I am.”

“Well, allow me to introduce myself then. I’m Susan Lancaster. Perhaps we can become better acquainted in the near future?”

She puts a hand on her hip and rubs another on his shoulder. He tenses. “I’m gay,” he blurts out.

“Oh.” Her hands drop. “Pity. We hardly ever get anyone new here. Those ghouls keep trying to barge in but...well.”

“If they have the caps, why not just let them in?”

She bursts out laughing. “Oh...oh, you’re serious. You’re a bit special, huh? Those filthy fucking ghouls will never be allowed in. The whole reason we’re here in the first place is to escape the ugliness and disease and all that.” She begins walking away.

“Wait! Have you ever heard of a place called Evergreen Mills? Or know where a garage is?” Has anyone in this tower ever left it?

She laughs again. It’s not a humorous sound. It’s light, pleasant but something sharp cuts his ears too.“Now why would you have business in a place like that?”

“So you have heard of it.”

“I’m familiar with the area.”

“Can you tell me where it is?”

Susan leans onto the table and looks Logan in the eye. “What’s it worth to you?”

His eyes narrow. “Just tell me your price.”

“A girl has to make rent. I’m sure you have a few caps in that big bag of yours...”

“One hundred.”

She grins.

“Three hundred?”

She wags a finger in his face.

“Clearly you have an amount in mind already,” he snaps.

“Aw, clearly you’re no fun. A thousand.”

Logan thinks about it but does it really require much thought? If he doesn’t pay her, what else can he do? Walk circles around DC until he dies? “Fine.” He’ll still have enough for supplies but that’s fifteen hundred caps blown in an hour.

“Let’s do this business in my room. People do love to gossip and eavesdrop around here. Come.”

He knocks back the rest of his beer then gathers his belongings to follow. A couple people look at them and murmur as they pass by.

“You don’t talk much,” Lancaster mutters as they walk towards one of these old hotel rooms. “Too bad we can’t find a use for that mouth of yours.”

Obviously he does talk a lot--probably too much--but something about this woman quiets him. Calling it a ‘bad vibe’ seems juvenile but that’s the best way to describe it. Something tells him she wouldn’t hesitate to grab the knife from his belt and gut him with it.

She closes the door and points him at the table. “Get counting.”

“So what do you know?” he asks, sitting down. His caps are somewhat organized but she’s going to force him to count every single one.

“You never answered _my_ question. What’s your business there?”

“Who cares?”

“You a slaver?” That teasing laugh again.

“Do I look like one?”

“That sort of thinking will be what gets you captured some day. Nobody ‘looks’ like anything. The people with the warmest smiles can still be carrying a slave collar behind their back.”

He takes a long breath. She’s right. “I don’t need to go there specifically. The garage I’m looking for is west of Evergreen.”

“Hm. I can give you the location. But after I’m paid.”

It doesn’t take a terribly long time to count but Logan wonders if he should spend the night here or just leave. Tenpenny Tower’s residents are ugly but the building is the nicest he’s ever seen.

“Great doing business with you.” She locks the caps away then rummages through a drawer. A piece of paper comes out and she spreads a map across the table.

“Here,” she says. “We’re not that far away, a bit north of the tower.”

He opens his pip-boy to compare. He also sees a star even farther north marked ‘Paradise Falls.’ That’s the _bad_ place. He inputs both locations into his pip-boy. “So I should expect trouble if I decide to explore?”

“Always expect raiders.”

“Why do you know the location when everyone else I ask either hasn’t heard of it or has but doesn’t know where?”

“The Mill isn’t what I’d call common knowledge. But a handful of people do know where it’s at--they’re just smart enough to keep their mouths shut. I’m telling you because I can handle myself just fine.”

“You didn’t actually answer my question.”

“Everyone has a past. I charge a hundred caps per minute to tell stories.”

He packs his bag, deciding in that moment to leave now. “If you’re lying to me about this, I’m coming back to get my caps.”

That only makes her laugh at him as she pushes him towards the door and shuts it in his face.

~~~~~

The plan originally included skipping Evergreen Mills completely by.

He understands now why most people had no idea what the fuck he was asking about. He’s huddled down on a cliff, the mill tucked away and surrounded by a wall of rock. Only one road leads out that he can see. If he wants down, he’ll have to go around or climb the rocky path his eye is on.

The place is crawling with raiders like the vault crawled with radroaches. But there are two things that stand out to Logan as he looks through his binoculars. People--slaves if the rags they wear are any indication--inside cages and the giant fucking behemoth inside an electrified fence. If not for the slaves, he’d consider finding some way to let the super mutant out to destroy everything in its path. But he can’t do that.

Part of his brain whispers that a few slaves dying is worth getting rid of all this raider scum, but he just can’t bring himself to go through with it. But then, if he simply leaves, is that not just as bad? Is he not leaving them to a, perhaps, crueler fate at the hands of these raiders? If Lancaster asked him if he was a slaver, it’s possible they’re hauling these people off to sell at Paradise Falls.

Logan hates himself. Why can’t he just not give a fuck and run as far as he can before he’s turned into a slave too? How many microfusion cells does he have left? Enough to use here but still have backup in case he runs into a deathclaw? Of course they’re the most expensive ammo he’s come across and it doesn’t help how much Tenpenny Tower cost him. He remembers the plasma grenades he has too. It’s only a few but if he can use them just right, maybe this fight will be easier.

He grabs his shotgun. These people need to die and these other people need to be saved. Just because so many others would leave them, doesn’t mean he can.

~~~~~

He’s shaking as he slithers through the dirt. All the raiders are dead, he’s pretty sure at least. No one else exits the buildings so he can only assume they’re hiding or no one’s left. If they’re waiting then he has to hurry. He picks the cage locks, hands slipping and bobby pins dropping as the behemoth roars. If he destroys the generator, that will probably kill the electricity barring it from its rampage. That’s certainly not happening.

The gate unlocks. “You’re free.”

It’s the right thing to do, that’s why he’s here. It’s not for payment or praise, though he is going to loot the corpses littering the compound. But when the people merely stand there without a simple ‘thank you,’ he gets miffed.

“You’re welcome,” he grunts, wiping sweat out of his eye. When he glances down, he sees it’s mixed with blood.

“Pfft, good job, hero,” one scoffs.

“It doesn’t matter,” another mumbles. “The wasteland will kill us as sure as any raider.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that so he just turns around and leaves. The raiders’ supplies go into his pack but he chooses to leave a few things for the others. He started alone with nothing, surely this small group can figure things out.

Now it’s time to continue west. The sun’s position tells him the correct direction without his compass. The slave pens and the behemoth get left behind. Hopefully Susan told the truth. She probably did. Why would she randomly have a mislabeled map in her dresser?

With nothing else to do but walk, he thinks about what he might find. His dad, intact. But why hasn’t he returned to Jefferson Memorial? Is there so much information and research that it’s taking time to sort through? Or...is it something more sinister? Not every vault is like Vault 101 apparently. But is 101 the exception or is 106?

He explored it during his dysfunctional trip to Arefu when he agreed to play courier for Lucy West. The destroyed security room was the first hint to the danger lurking within. The second was when his vision went blue, a hallucination of his dad appeared, and then a very real person in a 106 vault suit attacked him with a hardcover dictionary.

That experience makes it easy to imagine what horrors possibly await in Vault 112.

He stops abruptly and grabs his binoculars from his belt. There in the dusty brown terrain is a matching dusty brown building with a red rocket jutting from the ground and calling him like a beacon. The sun makes it difficult to see but he breaks into a sprint.

When he’s close enough, he makes out the words ‘Smith Casey’s’.’ Above that is a rundown billboard featuring a car while rusted out remains of real cars surround the place. This is the garage, it has to be. An entrance is to the left and he bolts towards it. His dad is so close now. How was he able to ignore the thought of him for so long? Even if James is an asshole, even if what he’s done to Logan is unforgivable...Logan can’t abandon his dad to die even if that’s what he did to him.

He readies his gun then practically rips the door off its hinges. His eyes need a moment to adjust and he hears skittering before he sees the mole rats running at him. He blasts the easy targets away, looking around for any hint of the vault’s location. This building consists of only two rooms so his search shouldn’t take that long.

It’s at the bottom of a gun cabinet that Logan finds a switch that normally shouldn’t be here. He flips it, the floor rumbles. He dashes down the stairs that reveal themselves, his boots pounding loudly against metal. Whoever, whatever is ahead, they know he’s coming. He hopes his dad can hear him because no matter what’s happened, Logan still misses him so fucking much it hurts.

Another door, another corridor, another set of stairs to leap down. He turns another corner then skids to a stop so suddenly he almost falls over.

Staring back at him is the vault door he’s so familiar with. The only difference is the number on it. He did it. He found Vault 112. What waits beyond that door is a mystery but Logan is ready to find out.


End file.
